Don't worry, we're not going to advise you to try the most acrobatic positions of the kama-sutra, nor to launch yourself into the latest sexual fad of the stars. Nor are we going to tell you that you absolutely have to have sex so many times a month, otherwise something is wrong, and that you have to reach a goal every time and perform a scene worthy of the best movies. We forget about all that.

When you've been in a relationship with someone for a while, without realizing it, certain things tend to creep into your life sometimes. With the years and the comfort, we can tend to take the relationship for granted; it is no longer our number 1 priority, and we let other subjects take over; and little by little, without wanting it or necessarily realizing it, we forget a little about our relationship, a bit like that book that is gathering dust on your shelf. If you recognize yourself in this, rest assured you are far from being alone, and it's far from serious 😊

What is meant by "spicing up your sexuality"?

When we talk to you about spicing up your relationship, it is first and foremost a matter of becoming aware of what is going on in your relationship: together, you can see that you have somewhat abandoned your relationship in favor of other priorities, and that you would perhaps like to take some time out just for you. This awareness and the intentionality of your approach are the two main elements: we don't really care about what you will concretely put in place afterwards, what counts is that you have this desire to put your relationship and your sexuality back at the center.

The main element you will have understood is time. We know that your schedules are busy and that your lives go very fast, but it is important to take time for yourself, for your couple. Set small achievable goals for yourself: you don't need to go away for a whole weekend or put in whole days. In the same way that you set aside time to meet up with friends at the café or to go to the movies, set aside time for your couple. Create moments of reunion for two, in a setting where you feel comfortable and confident. By placing your couple at the heart of privileged moments and by giving them priority, you will be able to nourish the intimacy that you and your partner share.

Communication, your best ally

You may not be completely comfortable with the idea of broaching the subject with your partner: you are no longer used to opening up, you are afraid of hurting their feelings or being embarrassed. Your sincerity and honesty will be the keys to communicating in a healthy and simple way with your partner.

Before you begin the discussion, we invite you to take the time to question yourself, to do a little introspection of sorts. It's important that you think about how you feel, and that you can identify the ins and outs of those feelings. Ask yourself what you want, let things come to the surface.

Next, talk with your partner. You know as well as we do that communication is the foundation of all our relationships, whether they are friendships, romantic relationships or anything else. By sharing this reflection together, you will continue to learn about each other: what are my desires? what are my frustrations?

We also invite you to talk about your sexual fantasies and desires, without having to make them come to life. This is a good way to stimulate your fantasy and erotic creativity, and talking about your desires will make you even more intimate. These conversations can be light and funny moments, but they are actually part of deep reflections on the couple's sexuality, how it is defined, and what place we give it.

Some practical ideas

Since we're nice and we're getting to know you, we're sharing some extra simple ways to change your bedtime habits!

  • toys

Using sex toys and other accessories as a couple is a great experience: whether you are won over or not, you share a moment of discovery, of trying, but above all of fun and pleasure with your partner. What do the people ask for?

  • try slow sex

What could be better than taking the time to love yourself? This is actually what slow sex proposes, a practice that invites us to slow down the rhythm, feel the sensations fully and make love in full consciousness. For those who are interested, we wrote an entire article on slow sex!

  • get a massage

Create a relaxing atmosphere, light some candles, bring a massage oil and let your instincts guide you. A moment of pleasure guaranteed!