Role-playing in a few words

Role-playing is a relatively widespread sexual practice, or at least known by the general public. In practice, role-playing means playing as characters and/or immersing yourself in a fictional universe. You are free to be inspired by existing characters or to invent them from scratch, the goal being to slip into the skin of these fantasy alter-egos.

A beneficial practice for couples?

You may be wondering how putting on a costume, acting like someone else, in short, "acting out" is beneficial for couples and their sexuality. You are in the right place!

Sexual role-playing is a great way to explore with your partner. First and foremost, you'll be forced to tap into your erotic imagination, find the fantasies that make you tick, and share them with your lover. Sharing your fantasies is like opening up about things you tend to keep to yourself, for fear of the reaction or judgment of others; it's a great way to open up to each other in confidence, to strengthen the intimacy and closeness you share, while spicing up your sexuality.

The role-playing game allows the couple to get back into an active seduction dynamic, which we sometimes put aside over the years. By slipping into the skin of these characters, it is as if you were meeting again for the first time; you are offered the opportunity to enter into a game of seduction. There's nothing like seeing your partner in a different light, through the eyes or in the guise of someone else, and remembering what you fell for in the first place. It is also an opportunity to rediscover yourself, by letting yourself feel all the sensations, and by taking advantage of being in the present moment, far from your parasitic thoughts.

As you will see in more detail below, communication is central to the practice of role-playing. By (literally) playing the game, couples can work on their communication skills: role-playing requires each person to express their desires freely and clearly, and to listen and hear those of their teammate. Through these discussions, a process of common maturity is established in a framework of mutual respect and trust, which will have positive consequences on the couple in general.

Some practical advice

Good communication is the key to a successful and enjoyable role-playing game for everyone!

We say it over and over again: consent is not an option, it's necessary. And that, even if you've been in a relationship for years: good sex starts with consent.

Before you start, we recommend that you each make a list of what you agree to and what you don't agree to. This is a simple way to ensure that everyone is on board before you start, and to maximize the chances that your sex will go as smoothly as possible. If you feel comfortable with this, you can agree on a safe word that, when uttered, immediately ends the sex. This way, you can be sure that things are clear and safe for everyone!

Throughout your intimate time, continue to talk to each other. Don't hesitate to make sure your partner is comfortable with simple questions: are you comfortable in this position? do you like it when I do this? In this way, you give your partner the opportunity to express himself clearly about his pleasure. You too should consider verbalizing what you feel: say when you are enjoying yourself, and accompany your partner's pleasurable actions with positive remarks. With these affirmations, you can both be sure that the pleasure is being shared.

We strongly advise you to take a moment to come down from your experience together once it is over. Take the time to calm down, to exchange, to share your feelings on what you have just lived, to hug each other in silence... everything that will make you feel good and will allow you to take care of your bodies and your minds. These moments of sharing - also called aftercare - nourish the intimacy you share. We recommend that you systematically take this time after each of your intimate experiences. After the role-playing session, you can come back and debrief on what you liked or not, what you felt...

Shall we go?

Don't worry, there is no need to launch into the elaboration of scenarios, each more complex than the last. In fact, it doesn't take much to get caught up in the game: a context, a set, a few sentences, and you're in for an adventure.

Don't forget: role-playing is about sharing a special moment as a couple. It's about having fun, rediscovering each other, vibrating together. And the good news is that you'll have fun no matter what, whether it "works" or not. Yes, you may burst out laughing at the drop of a hat, in reaction to an absurd phrase, an incongruous imitation or whatever. It's the laughter you share that brings you closer together; it reminds you that you are indeed sharing an exploration into unknown territory together.

Ideas to reinvent in your own way:

  • play a couple you are a fan of (Bonnie & Clyde, Tina & Bette...)
  • travel in time by plunging into the past or by imagining an ideal future