The threesome is one of the most common fantasies among the French. In fact, according to the 2023 sex report of the Amorelie sex toy brand, almost one person in four would secretly like to participate in a threesome (24%). If this fantasy is so present, it is because it has been and continues to be fueled by all the Hollywood representations of fiery and passionate threesomes (of course, the porn industry plays an important role in perpetuating these representations).

If the practice makes people dream, it is a reality for some of us. According to the same study, the proportion of French people who would have participated in a threesome is 13%. If you are one of those who would like to start the adventure but don't really know how to go about it, you will find here some advice on how to make the most of your experience.

Taking stock of yourself

Before even broaching the subject with your partner, we advise you to question yourself. Indeed, it can be interesting to know what are the reasons that push you towards this fantasy: are you looking for certain sensations? what do you expect from such an experience? is it a fantasy that finds its source in ideas and representations conveyed by the dominant culture? or are you looking for something in particular?

This journey with yourself will allow you to refocus on your own desires. In addition, you will be able to enter the discussion with your partner with a clear mind and in an honest and transparent way about your motivations.

It's also important to know what you're getting into: don't have expectations about your partner's reactions, be prepared for rejection as well as for your partner's thought process.

Talk about it with your partner

Once you've been able to identify the nature of your desires, you can begin the dialogue with your partner. There's no need to catch him or her off guard by bringing up the subject out of the blue. Bring the subject up in a discussion that already lends itself to it: you can ask about your partner's fantasies, share yours...

Respect for your partner at all stages is an absolute necessity. If you feel a little hesitation or reluctance, do not try to force your partner's hand: remember that the goal is above all to share a pleasant experience together. Be attentive to your partner's emotions and remarks, it is possible that the subject may awaken certain things; adopt a position of attentiveness, which does not make the other person feel pressured or guilty. You can also accompany your proposal with interesting resources such as articles or podcasts.

An important question to ask collectively is what you are capable of: do you have the emotional resources for such an experience? It is important to imagine all the possible scenarios, and to ask yourselves if you, as individuals and as couples, are ready to face these situations. Whatever decision you make, you will make it together.

Communication, the key to a successful experience

If the opportunity arises to have a threesome, here are a few tips to make the experience as smooth as possible for everyone involved.

Beforehand, it is important that everyone establish and share their limits and rules: what you agree to participate in, what is out of bounds. This way, everyone can share their limits, and the experience can take place in a framework of equality, trust and respect for each other. We also recommend that you agree on a safe word or system that allows you to communicate simply and quickly about how you are doing during your moment.

For couples inviting a third person, make sure you don't put this third person aside by paying just as much attention to their needs and desires before, during and after your sharing. You can however think of small attentions which will allow you to maintain a privileged link like a kiss, or a glance.

During the intimate relationship, give free rein to your imagination, to your desires: explore possible combinations, positions, attitudes. Also maintain the exchange on what you feel, and take care of the comfort and the pleasure of each one.

Once the session is over, we advise you to take an aftercare time. This will allow you to come down together from this intimate and intense exchange; it will be an opportunity to take care of your bodies as well as your minds, to exchange on what you have just lived, to share your feelings, what you liked or what you disliked. The goal of this time of exchange is to serenely close the relationship by giving everyone the opportunity to express themselves, to avoid the unspoken, and to propose a calm and peaceful return to reality.

Conclusion

If what you are looking for is an exact reproduction of scenes from porn movies, you might be a little disappointed! However, if you are curious about the idea of a threesome, then take the time to talk about it with your partner. Whether or not you go through with this fantasy, the discussion can only be beneficial: your couple will come out of it closer, connected and complicit! So, it's up to you.