What is sex therapy?

There is a difference between sex therapy and couple therapy; the former deals primarily with the sexual life of the person concerned, whether or not they are in a couple. However, during sex therapy, patients will often be asked to think about and work on issues that are broader than their sexuality, since everything is connected.

Sexology in France is a field of study that is still not well regulated. The courses and diplomas in sexology are mainly accessible to professionals in the medical and social field, such as general practitioners, gynecologists, midwives, nurses or psychologists... In France, at the end of these courses, specialists receive a university diploma in sexology.

Sexologists are specialized in sexual disorders and can intervene with an individual or a couple. Their role is to identify the problems of their patients and to accompany them in their resolution by taking a step back on their body, their mind and their emotional life as a whole. Sex therapists listen, counsel and support their patients using their knowledge of the mechanical and psychological processes of sexuality and through the creation of a caring, non-judgmental therapeutic framework. In the context of sex therapy initiated by a couple, the therapists also intervene to establish or re-establish a balanced, stable and healthy functioning for the persons concerned.

When to consult a sex therapist

There are a myriad of reasons that can lead you to start a therapeutic follow-up: complexes, blockages, sexual disorders, pain, lack of desire... Faced with these problems, sexologists conduct an in-depth investigation, without stopping at sexuality.

  • in case of physiological disorders: whether you suffer from pain during sexual intercourse, erectile dysfunction, or any other pathology, consulting a sexologist will allow you to take charge of your pain while going in search of its root cause, whether it is physical, emotional or psychological.
  • in case of sexual trauma: sexologists are fully equipped to accompany you in a process of reconciliation and rehabilitation.
  • in case of couple difficulties: sexologists are able to offer a place where you can talk in confidence, without judgment or taboos

When to consult? As soon as a person experiences suffering and feels the need for external support. The first step, that of recognizing that "something is wrong", is the most important: once the situation has been identified and the couple has come to terms with it, it is much easier to go and meet a professional. However, you can undertake a process without any (identified) tensions in your couple: in any case, it is a beneficial process that allows the couple to continue to put all the chances on its side (a bit like going for a massage before having pain somewhere).

Why consult a sex therapist

The sexologists accompany their patients towards the resolution of tensions and general fulfillment. Within the framework of a couple's follow-up, the specialists assume the role of mediator, witnessing the work undertaken by the couple.

The therapists intervene on various aspects of life: the difficulties to communicate are the source of many sufferings in the relations, whatever the nature of this one; the external relations which weigh on the couple, that it is about family, love or friendly relations; the fears, of the glance of the other, to be misunderstood, to wound... Moreover, all these fears weigh on the communication (one does not dare, the unsaid) and nourish a negative dynamics even a distance within the couple.

As soon as you feel tension or tightness, we advise you to contact your doctor, who can refer you to a specialist.

Choosing the right specialist?

We advise you to ask your medical entourage directly (general practitioner, gynecologist) who will be able to recommend specialists in whom they have confidence.

There is no fixed manual for the follow-up therapy. Depending on the specialist you consult, the nature of the sessions, the discussions held, the exercises proposed and the structure of the follow-up itself may vary! The most important thing is that you and your partner feel confident with your counsellor. It is important to know that there is no quick fix. Sex therapists provide tools to be used independently, try to establish a caring framework to accompany couples on their journey and offer mediation and liberating listening. However, it is up to the couple to accept the therapists' guidance and to put in place the necessary things to resolve a situation.

According to sex therapists, successful therapy will be one in which the partners agree on a new approach to their relationship, or whether they agree to end their relationship, the most important thing is to create a common ground for sharing.

Conclusion

Far from us the idea to draw a pessimistic picture on the state of our society and our relationships, we wish on the contrary to relieve, to relieve guilt, to reassure. Because encountering difficulties in one's sexual life, whether one is in a relationship or not, is not inevitable, nor necessarily something dramatic. We recognize the importance of taking care of our persons in all their facets as well as the active and intentional work that our relationships require.