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1. Speak without taboos
Communication is essential within a couple and it is always necessary to be heard. It is just as essential to share what you feel when things are going well as when they are not. This is especially true in the intimate sphere where what is left unsaid can generate a lot of frustration.
We can never repeat it enough: you have to communicate your desires but also your non desires because nobody is in your head, because nobody can guess what you want and what you don't want. This is especially true in bed... Not saying anything about what you want or accepting what you don't like only harms the intimacy of the couple and degrades the quality of the relationship.
2. Tell her you love her
Caught up in our routine, we sometimes forget to tell our partner simple things and we often forget to tell him or her the essential: that we love him or her. Say "I love you" to your partner, tell him what you like about him, what makes you proud to share his life, to be at his side. No need for big declarations either: a few simple and sincere words that come from the heart, little things that make you see the other person as greater and greater despite the passage of time, which makes you love him/her day after day.
3. Stimulate your sexual routine
It is no secret that the routine of everyday life often has an impact on the sexuality of a couple that lasts. You don't feel like it as much, you don't take the time to create moments of intimacy, you always make love in the same way...
For some time now, there have been more and more erotic podcasts that allow you to feed your erotic imagination and to live masturbatory experiences. New arrival in the sector, the application Melba is a newcomer to the sector, as it is aimed at couples and offers audio experiences for two: a voice guides the partners by giving them instructions (how to position themselves, what to do, at what pace, etc.) for about twenty minutes. The benefits? Inviting a voice into one's intimacy is very exciting, the fact of being guided allows one to dare to do things that one would not necessarily have dared to do or ask for in normal circumstances, the scenarios are very varied, allowing one to discover new practices, to try role-playing or to learn about Slow sex.
4. Don't put pressure on yourself
It is important to take care of your intimacy and sexuality as a couple, but you should not put pressure on yourself. The ideal frequency of intercourse is meaningless. The ideal frequency is yours: a couple does not need to have sex once a week to survive. Libido is not a straight line that always goes up and down. By nature, it varies throughout life and involves periods when sex will not have a place to manifest itself. Moreover, we too often associate the ideal frequency of intercourse with default penetration and a race to orgasm that risks spoiling your pleasure because by focusing on performance, you disconnect from your body and your sensations. However, it is precisely the fact of being attentive to your body sensations that gives pleasure.
5. Make time for yourself
It is essential to set aside quality time for your couple, but you should not forget to keep time for yourself either. Allowing yourself time to fantasize about practices, people, places is indeed a wonderful way to feed your erotic imagination. Fantasizing is quite healthy and masturbation is part of sexual health even if it is not compulsory. Here again, one should not feel constrained by injections, but rather privilege one's well-being by offering oneself moments of self-love when the need is felt, despite the constraints of daily life.
6. Respect each other
The pillar of a fulfilling love relationship, respect for the other is not something that can be negotiated and consent is the basis of it. Even when years of living together have accumulated, a joyful consent remains a mutual consent, without constraint or negative affects. One can consent to one gesture but not to another and lift the consent at any time.
7. Put some play into your daily life
What if you tried role-playing to spice up your sexuality and feed your erotic imagination? When you put yourself in someone else's shoes, it's often easier to assume certain fantasies and desires. It's as if you became another person making love to another person... and, since part of your brain doesn't know the difference between reality and imagination, part of you will live the scene as if it were reality. This is what makes it so exciting, makes the experience unique and allows you to get out of the everyday.
Of course, you can imagine your own dream scenario with your partner. But if you need a little help, the Melba app (again!) offers you role plays to live together that you can discover among other playful audio guided experiences to share with confidence (download the Apple / Android app) to maintain the desire every day.
8. Don't give up
It is possible that one or the other of the partners experiences sexual difficulties at some point in the relationship. It is important not to tell yourself that this is normal after many years together and to adopt a fatalistic attitude. On the contrary, it is important to talk about it, to consider that these difficulties may reveal a relationship problem or a health problem, because many illnesses can cause desire problems in both men and women. In order to find appropriate solutions to feel better, it is sometimes useful to consult a sexologist or a couple therapist. Here again, communicating is the best option to move forward and find serenity on a daily basis without giving up.
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